April 1, 2010  /  New York City, N.Y.

U.N. Approves International Symbol of Marriage
     United Nations' spokesperson, Gabrielle Femnazi, announced today at a noon time press conference that after five years of heated debate, the Human Rights Council (formerly known as the Nat'l Commission on Human Rights) did approve a new International Symbol of Marriage.  She also said that there appeared to be widespread consensus that the image of the prostrate-positioned male was a cross-cultural motif that is universally understood.
     Planned Parenthood and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) both hailed the U.N.'s move to adopt the new symbol as a historic step forward for social progress.  U.S. President Obama is also reported to have fervently supported the U.N. measure, with the First Lady issuing a statement that, "the President is a strong believer in the significance of matriarchal family values."

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